Our journey series: six of eight

Our journey

Read what happened following Doug's accident. These posts were originally published on Doug's CaringBridge site, https://www.caringbridge.org/visit/dougbichler.

Post-op and beyond 
Doug's 1:30 p.m. scheduled surgery morphed into an actual start time of 3:30 p.m. We were in pre-op from noon until 3, and at that point I had to leave him as they were starting his sedation. The surgery took an hour. His report from the surgeon, Dr. Mohr, was positive. They had to remove a small area of tissue which did not appear viable to take a skin graft. This, however, did not effect their ability to cover the entire area with skin. The skin they used did indeed come from Doug's right thigh, called the donor site. This donor site will heal in one week to ten days. At that point, it will appear very pink and raw, but will be able to take lotion to ease discomfort and accelerate the healing. The appearance of the donor site will continue to lighten towards normal skin tone, but will be shaded for about a year before it is fully back to normal. The arm looked healthy with no infection and no complications. Doug's bicep again has a wound vac (negative pressure system) applied to lessen dressing changes, lower the chance of infection, help with wound draining and promote blood flow to the newly placed skin. Dr. Mohr believes the wound vac will be able to be taken down on Monday, July 17. There is a possibility we will be able to come home early next week. Originally, we were told Doug would have to come back shortly for a check-up for his arm and donor site. Dr. Mohr, however, said that we should be able to snap digital photos of both sites and send them to him and his team. They can tell how the skin is healing by visually looking at the skin, and don't believe making Doug travel back would be necessary. This is great news as the timing may have been that I would be at home going into labor while Doug would have had to be in Minnesota. But then again, we have no idea when Baby Bichler will decide to make his or her appearance. Plus, the more time he can stay at home the better. At this point, I think being with his cows, seeing his calves and spending time with his dogs will be more effective medicine than any pill he is swallowing now. The next step at home would be getting stronger, gaining weight, eating more and beginning treatments with a rehabilitation doctor in Bismarck or Fargo. After surgery last night, Doug's spirits were lifted by seeing three of his nieces and nephews. He also ate an entire 12-inch Hawaiian pizza for supper. Things went down hill from there. He didn't get much sleep at all and has been struggling with intense phantom pain as well as pain from the donor site on his thigh. He feels weak and sleepy today. We may be in for a long weekend. He hasn't eaten much today and is trying to rest when he can. So beyond today, we don't know how each hour will go. But, we are hoping we can see the light at the end of the galaxy. And, that light will be our brand spanking new pendant lights hovering over our new kitchen island with three goofy dogs waiting in the driveway.

What a day
What a day we have had today. It all started with a good evening yesterday. We settled in to Doug's room to watch Brother Bear with our nieces and nephews. The movie was complete with popcorn and refreshments. This was after Doug requested sushi yet again for supper. Then, he had three friends stop by who were armed with caramel rolls and puppy chow. Doug had a good night of sleep, getting a few hours then walking for a short time before falling back asleep again. His pain has been much more manageable and tolerable compared to yesterday and he seems to have more of his strength back. We've had a good, long Sunday. Half our family attended the Cathedral for Mass while some of us celebrated Mass in the chapel at the hospital. Doug had a good breakfast and enjoyed spending the morning with family. We went hog wild for lunch and not only ordered delicious burgers from The Blue Door Pub, but we tried out Bite Squad for the very first time (a food delivery service). I was easily amused and thoroughly satisfied. Doug said he was craving a good burger and the nursing staff jumped into action in order to receive feedback and pass on their recommendations. I don't know about my family members who ate with us, but my burger hit the spot. But, then again I'm pregnant. Doug's niece also put herself to work by giving his toes and feet some much needed attention. I think he has smoother and nicer looking feet than anyone on the unit. After speaking with staff today, the plan is to remove Doug's wound dressing and vacuum machine tomorrow. We do not know a time, but do know the pain medicine for this procedure has been ordered. We will know more once they see the skin graft site. If the skin graft didn't take, Doug would be going in for more surgeries to do additional skin grafting. If all is well, we may still be able to go home this week. Nutrition is a priority for Doug. He has been skirting his diet the last few days and has been eating things he is allergic to. Our nurse came in and informed us she was going to weigh Doug. She said she was going to be right back with the scale. Well, Doug eyed an almost full 30-some ounce bottle of water on the table and said, "Quick, maybe I can gain a pound like a 4-H steer." Sure enough, he gulped it down. Upon finishing, he grimaced and said, "Ugh, now I know what a steer feels like." His weight continues to dip down, which is not the goal nor our intention. But, while his weight may be slipping, his humor is not. And, that is something we can all be thankful for today.

He's free
Well, today turned out to be the day. We are officially discharged from the Regions Hospital burn center. Doug is resting at our hotel before we head west tomorrow. The doctors removed Doug's wound vac this morning and instead placed a simple dressing over the skin graft site. The area appeared to be healing well; there were small areas which didn't appear to be healing as rapidly as the rest. However, the doctor was confident they would not be an issue. The site will simply take more time, rest and nutrition to be ready for future rehabilitation and prosthetics. He also has a dressing on his donor site, which should be completely healed in two weeks. For now, he cannot shower as the two wound sites cannot be wet. More sponge/bed baths for him. I think standing in the shower is equal on his look-forward-to list as seeing his cows, calves and bulls. He needs to regain his strength, rest and focus on healing in the coming months. Next steps include: connecting with a pain specialist, a rehabilitation doctor, physical therapist and scheduling telemedicine with the staff at Regions. We should not have to return to St. Paul for medical care, unless the skin graft and/or donor site would become a problem. We are so unbelievably happy with the care we were given during this time. The respect, concern, love, knowledge and talent demonstrated by all the staff at Regions was phenomenal. That being said, I still don't want to ever come back. Maybe for a hello visit, but preferably nothing medical related. I have an OB/GYN appointment in the morning, and after rush hour traffic dies down, we will depart for the farm. We know family and friends are excited for us to be home and many, many want to see Doug. But, we please ask that you give us time. Time to adjust, time to unpack, do laundry, organize, cry when we see our dogs, cry when we see our dry, draught ridden pastures, cry when we realize how much one takes home for granted. We want to see you all, and we will, but give us a few days. Thank you for your overwhelming support and prayers. You have all made this journey more bearable at every turn. So for now, rest assured that Doug is free from the hospital, free from impending surgeries and free to continue doing what he does best: being a son, brother, uncle, husband, friend, man of faith and child of God. And, a darn good rancher.

There's no place like home
We departed the Twin Cities yesterday around 11 a.m. The morning preparation to leave, the actual departure, the many hours and miles in the car ... all of it was not the joy filled, enjoyable experience we may have hoped for. Doug was uncomfortable and in pain for the ride. And, when the ride home is pushing 8 hours, the pain couples with worries, doubts and stress which makes for a long day. But, when we finally arrived, I am tempted to say it was worth it. However, the pain he is struggling with isn't quite worth anything. Nonetheless, we were welcomed by some of our family who had been in and out during the day preparing for our surprise. Simply coming home to a farm that had received 2.5 inches of rain the night before may have been enough to make us smile. But, coming home to a farm that had a brand new landscape project complete in the front yard really made us smile. Then, we noticed the Blessed Mary statue within the landscaping. Then, we saw our dogs, we hugged our family and we walked inside the house; only to be greeted with a completely cleaned home. A home that was deserted in a remodel and now is complete. A home that was decorated and furnished with a crockpot of our beef on the counter. There was wine, flowers, kind notes, hung pictures, cleaned dishes in new cupboards, a stocked nursery, a tidied up bedroom. Honestly, the list goes on and on. Words cannot adequately describe how grateful we felt and still do feel for everything. And, words also cannot describe the amount of work that was taken on by family and friends. The house we left the night of the accident was not a home, and now it is. After many tears, smiles and words we ventured to bed around midnight. Doug didn't have a great night but was able to get a few hours of sleep. He has had a better day today complete with two naps and good meals. Home seems to be good medicine, and I hope that continues. So after day one of being at home, I can honestly say there is no place like home.

But, wait
Pain, stress, anxiety, worry, fear, doubt, blame, anger; emotions no one likes to talk about before, during or after a traumatic event. What's with the word trauma anyways? Every time I pick up the phone to schedule an appointment or explain why so-and-so hasn't heard from us in a timely manner, I find myself saying, "My husband was in a traumatic farm accident ..." Then I find myself posing the question, "Did that really happen to us?" Did something that took a millisecond to occur really change our lives forever? Am I, or are we, making too big of a deal out of this? Should I really be this emotional? Bad things happen to people every day. People die, people get sick and people get hurt. Doug was hurt, and hurt badly. But, he didn't die. The aftermath of this accident has brought on so many mixed feelings coupled with emotions related to our pregnancy, our ranch, our home and our livelihood; both now and in the future. We are only starting this journey, and we try to take things day by day. But, there's things no one tells you, and things you only face when they slap you upside the face. But, wait. There are things to be thankful for, things to look forward to and things to celebrate. Doug is alive and healing. He has his appetite today. He walked to the feedlot barn and back. He found and oiled the air filter for the side-by-side. He drove his car in the garage. He made farm game plans with his brother and his nephew. He ate his mom's juneberry kuchen. He read a childhood cow book. His walking is more steady than it was yesterday. So, while we may have bad days, and we may get angry and wonder, "why me and why us?" we know there's another day ahead. Another day to face the pain, the demands of the real world and the needs of our family and friends. But, we have our baby to look forward to, we have our health, and above all we have a God who is good and watching over us at all times.

Doug and his ladies
We've said it before; we have good days, and we have bad days. Two days ago was not so good, but yesterday was a tally for the good day column. Doug managed to get a few good hours of sleep the night before last. And, after enjoying breakfast he decided he was up for a drive to town. I had mail to drop off and was going to swing through the ATM. We live in a small town, however, so of course this isn't all we accomplished. We ran into a friend in an alley and had to thank the gracious woman who decorated our home. Then, Doug decided we were taking a different route home; one where one of our group of heifers are conveniently located along the road. Oohing and awing from the road is not enough, however, because Doug continued to climb through the barbed wire fence to drool over his upcoming cows. Yes, I was nervous he'd stumble, trip or get caught on the fence, but I stood back and watched from the road. I need to remind myself that Doug is still very independent and can do things and accomplish things on his own. When he had his fill, we headed towards home. But, then we remembered we should really swing by our mail box. And, wouldn't you know. Our group of fall cows were perched at the top of the hill right off the road. So, again the car went in park and Doug went in the ditch to climb through the fence only to return to the vehicle with a smile as wide as his face. Lunch followed as well as to-do list items. We both attempted to take a nap and were unsuccessful. Doug's parents visited us for a short time, which was nice as they haven't seen either of us since the Friday after the accident. Doug's pain was still there and definitely still uncomfortable, but the distraction in the morning all but took it away for a few hours. Phantom pain, as it is commonly referred to, is so strange to us still. And, unfortunately becoming more and more common to Doug. If he is relaxed, distracted and busy, his pain level is tolerable. If he is walking through his heifer and cow groups, the pain and memories of the accident are nonexistent. But when he attempts to nap midday or sit and stop for a moment, the pain returns because the brain doesn't have anything tugging it away from the sensation of pain. Next week, he has a doctor's appointment with a primary care doctor as well as an appointment with Sanford Pain Management. Hopefully between the two, and Regions Hospital if necessary, we can find solutions to his pain and medicine regimen. We also hope the pain will lessen as the weeks go on. He will begin physical therapy next week as well so as to not lose any range of motion in his shoulder and arm. The movements will be limited due to the nature of his first orthopedic surgery the day after the accident. But, only time will tell and in the meantime I think I'll just take Doug to a pasture if he is having a tough bout of pain.